Top 10 Reasons why B-HED won't date Barbie

When it comes to romance, it goes without saying that B-HED has very discerning tastes - not unlike real-life DC. Many have asked who he's dating and what his 'type' is. Others have purchased TEAM B-HED shirts, to support him in the event that he does date someone, then ends up breaking their heart.

Foolish people. A relationship with B-HED is a strictly 'enter at your own risk' scenario. B-HED is like the sun: super hot and will light up your life, but will burn the hell out of you if you get too close. Many have tried. All have been unsuccessful.

Some have suggested that Barbie may be a good match for B-HED... that her celebrity may entice him to date her. But we disagree:

Top 10 Reasons B-HED won't date Barbie
10. She has fake breasts. B-HED prefers breasts like he does sugar: real and full of carbs!

9. That creepy perma-smile... It never changes - even during those 'special' cycles.

8. She doesn't eat. Ever.

7. He would have to kill Ken. B-HED doesn't share.

6. She is the only one who can out-stare him. At some point, he needs a break to see himself again.

5. She's nice to look at, but has nothing to say.

4. Her knees don't bend far enough.

3. Barbie Cher is hotter. But too freaky. Plus, there's that plastic smell.

2. Her wrists don't bend. At all.

1. In her world, a pink hummer is something TOTALLY different.