B-HED Holiday Observations

Happy Holidays ladies and gents.  Hope Santa forgave you for all of your sins this year... oh wait... wrong mythical figure.  My bad.  Here are some funny holiday observations from the plastic Godfather's obtuse point of view:
 
- The vulgarity and cruelty of the popular kids Christmas specials is mind-blowing.  The Little drummer Boy’s father got brutally killed in a break and enter, scaring the boy for life and causing him to chose a life of homelessness and solitary.  I’ve seen that story play out in real life… and believe you me, there is no happy ending.  

The Who clan from the Grinch Who Stole Christmas all look like they had their faces pressed up against the car window too long.  Ahh, the fond memories of yelling at the screen “if you don’t stop making that face, it will stay that way!  Damn.  Too late."

- Facebook/Twitter holiday greetings have replaced greeting cards.  Actually, this one I’m happy about, as I can simply delete the greeting faster than I can chuck the card. And now there’s less trash. It’s win-win.
 
- Holiday shoppers can be separated into two distinct groups: The Angels and the Heathens.  The Angels open the door for you, help you carry your bags to the car and let you take the last toy on the shelf.  The Heathens push you out of the way and enter the store first, steal your bags on the way to the car and challenge you in a battle to the death for that last toy.  After all is said and done, the Heathens come out on top.
 
- Everyone takes time off during the holidays.  Suckers.  The rest of us enjoy the reduced traffic, the quiet workplaces and the half work-days filled with Facebook Scrabble.
 
- Overall, the holidays are filled with joy.  Sure, I may get mine from mocking the rest of you, but to each his/her own.  So go get yours and enjoy what is left of 2010.
 
Peace.
 
Don B-HED