Happy Birthday Frank!

Yesterday marked a very special day in Bobbleheadom... Mr D2B himself (Down to Business) celebrated a birthday. Think of the most straight forward, energetic, strategic mind you can imagine... now you know Frank.  

You're welcome. 

Join me in wishing him well via this blog. Please respect his privacy and note that he limits his social networking to people with whom he has met or knows professionally.

Happy Birthday Franky Nines!

B-HED Rides St Maarten & St Thomas

As our hero continued his voyage through the Eastern Caribbean, there were many interesting and unusual sites...  

In St Maarten, B-HED snuck onto a nude beach on the French side of the island. Much to his disappointment, he realized that Hollywood has once again polluted our minds with distorted visions of reality.  In a word?  Brrrrrrr.   Isn't it ironic that some nudists didn't want their picture taken?  They all mumbled something about not wanting to have pictures of their nude body put on the internet.  I didn't really understand their point of 'selective nudism', though I couldn't really pay attention anyway... not with everyone's bits and pieces in our faces. 

Second, the island is poverty stricken and the last few storms that have passed through have left some considerable damage to all standing structures.  However, we couldn't help but notice the glory that is the island's nudy bar.  Well kept, clean & well guarded.  Not that we know from personal experience... but if you find yourself in that neck of woods, tell William that B-HED wants his shoes back.

In St Thomas, we decided to be adventurous and tour the island on our own.  We asked a local taxi to take us to the 'nicest beach in St Thomas'.  I think somehow that translated to "Please take us to the smallest beach on the island and ensure that there are no washrooms or facilities within 2km". Classic.  We were driven to a remote beach on the Northwestern part of the island.  As per usual, B-HED navigated the route.  He was unaffected by the fact that traffic runs on the opposite side of the road here... or at least that's what we gathered from the fantastic maneuvering antics of our legally blind taxi driver.  It's amazing what you can do with only 30% of your vision! 

The service on the beach was surprisingly good: B-HED's natural ginger aura was like catnip to the waiters.  Sure, they pretended to "not know who he was", and to have never "seen CSI Miami" or to even "own a tv"... But we deflected well.  That unmistakable awkwardness was precious.          

Let's play a game.  I'll order two drinks on the beach and you punch me in the stomach, reach way down into my purse and take my money.  Oh wait, that's not a game... that's what it felt like to order two small drinks and pay close to $40.  Ouch.  That one still hurts.

 

B-HED's Caribbean Adventures... Just the Beginning.

Brass Monkey.  That funky monkey.  I'm not sure why, but the chorus of Brass Monkey (Beastie Boys, circa 1986) seems to be the theme music that rattles around in your head as you tour the world with B-HED confidently perched in your hand...  Forget Johnny Cash.  I don't walk the line.  I walk the HED. B-HED.

B-HED was blessed with the opportunity to accompany some fun loving and outgoing people aboard the Emerald Princess Cruise.   The ship sailed the Eastern Caribbean, hitting some beautiful beaches and unique ports along the way.  It is rumoured that the woman of the islands became especially fertile during this time... The Caribbean 'heat' was unmistakable.

B-HED was pleased with the overall condition of the ship.  He was especially impressed that the captain 'recognized' the presence of his celebrity:  in order to ensure privacy -  and for obvious security reasons - the captain reserved an entire sun deck for B-HED and his guests.

The ship boasts a 300 square foot, LED screen on one of the top decks, overlooking one of the main pools.  

Can you imagine our dismay when CSI Miami wasn't featured?  The tourists missed out on a 300 foot Horatio!   Is anyone else seriously bothered by this? 

Although we managed to keep the fans at a safe distance, B-HED mingled with some locals who "have never seen such rich, red hair and such porcelain white skin before".  He also posed for exactly 546 pictures with staff (plus or minus 545).  

He's kind hearted like that.

Coming up next:  The beaches.

Brass Monkey.  That funky monkey.  Can you hear it?

B-HED on vacation?

As a prescribed follow up to his Australian rehab stint, B-HED took a relaxing and well-deserved jaunt through the Eastern Caribbean.  Friends were made, beaches explored and young ladies' hearts broken. Heart ache is to be expected when dealing with someone of B-HED's 'celebrity'.  It's unavoidable really... that's just how he rolls. 

Due to some unforeseen circumstances and an inadvertent 'international incident', most of B-HED's photos were confiscated at the border.  It's sad...  witness ONE TINY felony and all of a sudden everyone wants to be your friend!

The details of B-HED's adventures will be made available over the next few days.  Come along for the ride and enjoy his trip as much as he did!  But takes some wise advice: if someone named Paolo asks you to 'hide something', be a 'look out' or just 'carry this package through customs', just say no. 

Trust me on that one.

Publish Post

DM

Official David Caruso Facebook Page!

Hello children,

B-HED has some sweet sweet poetry to help you relax before bed.  Yes, B-HED considers your sleep.  Without it, some of B-HED's witty jokes and edgy sense of humour will surely be wasted.  Here we go:

Now I lay me down to sleep

David Caruso's official page I will seek

Up above all the fake websites

Is DC's page, the man, the might.

There are people who try

There are people who fail

There are people who suck

The fakes, we will unveil

Fly, drive, swim, walk

Do whatever it takes

Get to the page & join

And put an end to the fakes

Now rest your heads

Feel safe and sound

Come give b-hed a hug

and sit on the mound

There you go!  Now you know (uh oh, can't turn the rhyming off...)

Here is the link to the one and only official DC FACEBOOK FAN PAGE  Come join us for some fun.  You never know... DC might just interact with YOU. 

B-HED OUT.

B-HED rehabs in Australia

It's been a long time, my plastic-loving friends... too long. Much to our disappointment, B-HED was unreachable during his vacation over the past week and a half- touring Victoria, Australia. But fret not children, he is BACK... and better than ever. With a renewed sense of adventure, poise & responsibility, B-HED has refreshed his edgy sense of humor and is ready to gain further momentum as the epic badass that you so greatly admire.

Utilizing his ninja-like abilities to move around virtually unnoticed, B-HED managed to get onto the beach during classified Coast Guard exercises. He was unimpressed with the tactical procedures until he realized they were trying to emulate a rescue, not an attack. That made more sense.

B-HED's adventures throughout Victoria's Southwest coast line were unusually subdued - and mostly confidential. Any paparazzi who dared get too close was soon relieved of their camera equipment.

He thought very carefully about his affiliations, his role in our lives and his overwhelming need to be in control at all times. He followed the teachings of his Master, Guru Bfullahit and meditated, completely immersing himself in thought. Then he remembered he didn't care. His adventures will continue.

All is well with the world again.

Everything is about B-HED and B-HED is about everything. The sooner you learn it, the sooner you can accept your place in life - - as his dedicated blog monkeys!

In less than 3 weeks, B-HED will take you along his adventures in the Caribbean. He will tweet & post blogs from Bahamas, St Maarten, St Thomas and Turks & Caicos. Now you have something to look forward to.

You're welcome.

Father Time Hates Chuck Norris

You may remember the post (Jan 24th 2010 ) comparing B-HED to Chuck Norris. Well yesterday was Chuck’s 70th birthday, so it’s only fitting to pay tribute to the former champ of toughness… after all, he is slightly cool with his auburn glow and popular “Peace Through Violence” methodologies. But for the most part, we remember the 80s Chuck. 2010 Chuck lacks a certain strength… The vivacity that someone born in 1940 sadly parts with post-retirement: the ability to take on 16 guys, only armed with loud army fatigue and super tight jeans (so tight that it makes us want to send a search and rescue mission for his nads). Maybe we should give him some slack, as most of those pics are taken in the 80s or early 90s... that’s 20 to 30 years ago kids.

Here is a new new video video posted on MTV. It features Chuck describing why his cartoon series got trashed by CBS. THIS is what Chuck looks like today. Is it just me, or did his teeth grow? Maybe he got ‘dental fixtures’ because his teeth weren’t up to the job of chewing all that steel he eats… or they may have simply rotted away like my granny. That’s a very fair comparison. Chuck Norris vs. My Granny. I’d pay to see that battle.

Other popular people that were born in 1940: Bill Kurtis (Cold Case actor) Don Imus (Radio guy) Frank Zappa (Musician) Herbie Hancock (Musician) Jack Nicklaus (Golf pro) Burt Young (uncle Pauly from the Rocky movies) Alex Trebek (Jeopardy) Ed Lauter (Actor – most memorably from the show Coach) (We purposely left out Sir Al Pacino. For obvious reasons). For the record, anyone born on Jan 7th 1956, with the initials DC has complete immunity from the aging process. Watch Monday night (@10pm on CBS) and see for yourself.

Happy Birthday you aging-ginger-karate-moustached legend.... Happy Birthday.