B-HED Rides St Maarten & St Thomas

As our hero continued his voyage through the Eastern Caribbean, there were many interesting and unusual sites...  

In St Maarten, B-HED snuck onto a nude beach on the French side of the island. Much to his disappointment, he realized that Hollywood has once again polluted our minds with distorted visions of reality.  In a word?  Brrrrrrr.   Isn't it ironic that some nudists didn't want their picture taken?  They all mumbled something about not wanting to have pictures of their nude body put on the internet.  I didn't really understand their point of 'selective nudism', though I couldn't really pay attention anyway... not with everyone's bits and pieces in our faces. 

Second, the island is poverty stricken and the last few storms that have passed through have left some considerable damage to all standing structures.  However, we couldn't help but notice the glory that is the island's nudy bar.  Well kept, clean & well guarded.  Not that we know from personal experience... but if you find yourself in that neck of woods, tell William that B-HED wants his shoes back.

In St Thomas, we decided to be adventurous and tour the island on our own.  We asked a local taxi to take us to the 'nicest beach in St Thomas'.  I think somehow that translated to "Please take us to the smallest beach on the island and ensure that there are no washrooms or facilities within 2km". Classic.  We were driven to a remote beach on the Northwestern part of the island.  As per usual, B-HED navigated the route.  He was unaffected by the fact that traffic runs on the opposite side of the road here... or at least that's what we gathered from the fantastic maneuvering antics of our legally blind taxi driver.  It's amazing what you can do with only 30% of your vision! 

The service on the beach was surprisingly good: B-HED's natural ginger aura was like catnip to the waiters.  Sure, they pretended to "not know who he was", and to have never "seen CSI Miami" or to even "own a tv"... But we deflected well.  That unmistakable awkwardness was precious.          

Let's play a game.  I'll order two drinks on the beach and you punch me in the stomach, reach way down into my purse and take my money.  Oh wait, that's not a game... that's what it felt like to order two small drinks and pay close to $40.  Ouch.  That one still hurts.