B-HED vs Chick, er, Chuck Norris

It is well known that B-HED has two very unique talents:  His ninja-like ability to move around unnoticed, and the famed hypnotic trance he puts over the ladies. Some say B-HED’s extreme level of cool ranks him amongst the uber cool ass-kickers of our time (aka, John Wayne and Clint Eastwood). Others might go as far as to compare B-HED to the joke that is Chuck Norris.  

Really?  Chuck Norris? 

No Comparison.  For every move Chuck Norris fakes, B-HED lays a real ass whooping, 100x more powerful. 

So you say that Chuck Norris is so tough? So tough that when he does push ups, he isn’t pushing himself up, he’s pushing the earth down?  Well B-HED doesn’t do push ups.  He glares at the ground and it moves on it’s own.   

So Chuck Norris has a beard?  Well, the beard is only there to mask the marks that his wife leaves when he’s late from work.  B-HED’s face doesn’t grow hair.  The hair knows better.

What’s that?  Chuck Norris is an expert in martial arts and can take out a room full of guys with a ton of punches, kicks and flying leaps?  Meh.  B-HED doesn’t fight.  His stone-cold glare is enough to stop the dumbasses in their tracks, without so much as a ‘bobble’.  

If Badass were a country, B-Hed would be king.  Or at least marry the Queen, kill the king and become the King elect.  Either way, KING.

 

"Hey Death... you got a license for that Sythe?"