10) His hair may be as stiff as Jersey Shores’ Pauly D, but B-HED is far less annoying. Plus, he is one of the few Americans left that hasn’t slept with Snookie.9) He single-handedly disarmed a dozen armed gunmen. Nah, he didn’t… but you’d believe it if he did, wouldn’t you?
8) His travels are renowned and people are interested in seeing the world from his perspective. The rest of us travel the world and people are interested in seeing the inside of our wallet.
7) The reception on the iPhone 4 doesn’t degrade when he uses it. It knows better.
6) He can set up shop in the women’s bathroom and no one finds it odd.
5) His life and exploits are so interesting that he has people writing about other people, writing about him, based on another person. Sick.
4) He can be found on the set of CSI Miami. And for the low low price of $6,500, so can you!
3) His tweets are funnier, and more original than half the stuff that happens in most people’s entire year.
2) He has fans from 75 countries. Most of us don’t even have fans from our own country… unless our mothers count.
1) His job is to look like David Caruso. ‘nough said. That is one lucky bastard.
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